10. A Mother’s Wrath: Story build

2 April 2025

Alison Rocket Ross

Aaron (35) Landscaper finally has a friend.

Aaron and Brooke are a classic pair. One outgoing talker looking for connection, one introverted no-funny-business guy running from it. Traditionally, we’d use Brooke as comic relief and Aaron as the straight man. I’m not interested in doing that here, but we’ll see how it shakes out.

How They Interact

Brooke rambles while Aaron waits for his moment. Brooke pushes as Aaron pulls back. This is why the relationship is solid for the story. Aaron’s other friends would never push him for answers, they’d just accept that he was having another one of his “quiet” days and think no further of it. But Brooke…

She’s analytical. She’s taking stats. Gathering data. (Not actually writing it down or anything, it’s just how her brain is programmed). So the story will go a little something like this.

Aaron digs up the skull.

Goes to trivia night. Is exceptionally quiet.

Brooke presses, but Aaron won’t tell her.

After trivia night, Brooke badgers Aaron until he finally gives in.

Idea: Since Aaron decides not to go to the police, maybe we don’t see what he saw right away. We know something unsettling was buried there, but we’re not sure what. It’s only when Brooke finds out that the audience finds out.

What Happens Now?

So Brooke figures it out. They have a discussion about going to the police. Aaron is worried about the tree.

Ok, I’m a little stuck.

Let’s think about our ending.

Aaron is bought off by the daughter. She bribes him into letting it go. He accepts the money and agrees to keep quiet, but only if she tells him the whole truth. (Lots of potential here). This ending would also allow Aaron to go back to his “normal” life. He is changed, definitely, but he doesn’t have to give up who he is. (And we could have a badass monologue at the end. I always like those.)

Ok, so that’s what we came up with. He can’t go to the police. The daughter isn’t in town yet. We need to bring the daughter to town. But… the landscaping crew was hired by the brother. They could talk to the brother.

We’re in danger of having this story just be one of those conversation to conversation pieces. As much as I like those, we need some full on action or at least more visual storytelling and tension. We’ll need to ramp it up in Act Two.

What does that mean? The first thing that comes to mind is bringing in the murder victim’s family. If he was violent, there may be short fuses and violence in his family. And maybe, they’re out for revenge. But they’d need to find out the truth. Let’s call them the Corbins for now. (I think the murder victim’s name was Bruce, but since we’re using “B” for Brooke, let’s change it to Fred for now. Fred Corbin).

Here’s the scenario: 

Brooke and Aaron go to the house to talk to the brother. The Corbins watch from across the street. They were always suspicious of that family when Fred went missing. The Corbins watch as Aaron takes the brother outside to the tree. Asks uncomfortable questions.

This is a somewhat affluent neighborhood so we can’t have the Corbins be a pair of trigger happy hillbillies out for revenge no matter how visually satisfying it would be… (just talking myself out of it).

Oh, boy. We’re going to need character sheets for this folks, too.

For now…

A Mother’s Wrath

It just has to be Fred’s mother who is the “villain” of this story. The main antagonist making Aaron’s life miserable. She needs to know what happened to her son. She needs closure, vengeance, justice. Something. It’s been 15 years since she lost her boy and she has spent every day since obsessing over it. But never found any proof.

We need her strong and passionate.

Idea: For some cool full-circle storytelling in the script, we could end it with Aaron burying a body. Mama Corbin could get too close, too wild, attack someone, ends up dead. As part of Aaron’s deal with the daughter, he must bury alongside his son, under the tree where no one will touch it. It starts with Aaron digging up a body, ends with him burying one.

Progress!

Brooke and Aaron

This is going to be a big traumatic event in both of their lives. They will trauma bond for sure. Aaron will get to witness the depths of himself he didn’t know were there while Brooke gets the big quest of which she’s always dreamed. Those are our character stories. Perfect.

But how do they end? They can’t exactly walk away from each other after something like that. Could they really love each other after seeing what the other is capable of?

We’ll have to sort through that.

Let’s just spell out our scenes for now.

ACT ONE

Opening Scene: Ants! Aaron’s lonely, clean life.

Inciting Incident: Digs up a body while landscaping.

Key Incident: Decides not to tell anybody.

Next Scene: Trivia night. Brooke knows something is off.

Next Scene (secondary key incident?): Brooke and Aaron get some alone time. She presses him for answers. He finally tells her.

An Attempt to Solve the Problem: Brooke and Aaron confront the brother about what was found in the yard.

Now we’re starting to get the wheels turning. Let’s dig into Act Two next time, see if we can’t get a proper ramp up and build tension.

-Rocket